Hi I’m Rachael…
My husband James and I have been married for 12 years and battled a long and difficult 8 year infertility journey before welcoming our son Hudson into the world.
I was diagnosed with PCOS a few years after marriage and pursued treatment from a naturopath and then eventually a RE. Along the way we underwent fertility meds, 2 rounds of IUI, and 3 rounds of IVF which resulted in a miscarriage at 8 weeks and the early delivery of our twin girls, Hazel Grace and Olivia Rose at 19 weeks. We spent the following year grieving our girls and learned along the way that pain is inevitable in life but suffering is optional. We chose to live life to its fullest and found true joy in all that life had to offer. On Hazel and Olivia’s one year anniversary we released lanterns to celebrate our girls and everything that they had taught us. The following day we learned I was pregnant naturally! Our son is no doubt a gift from above.
After my pregnancy and delivery of our son I felt guilty sharing my writing since I was one of the lucky ones. I felt like I no longer belonged to the infertility club that no one wants to be a part of anyways. I stopped writing and sharing our story out of my own guilt. Ive quickly learned that infertility never really goes away it just may look different. We have ventured down the fertility journey once again and have experienced an 8 week miscarriage after a fertility medication cycle and a 5 week miscarriage after a frozen embryo transfer. I was naive to think I was lucky enough to escape the club and with this realization I’ve decided to continue to share our story.
Life can be incredibly painful and seemingly unfair but it is also incredibly beautiful. I hope you find this blog more inspiring and joyful than sad and depressing. Join me as I share our journey. And if you’re experiencing infertility or loss please know that you’re not alone.
Two Birds and a Bee: How the name came to be.
The two hummingbirds represent our twin girls Hazel and Olivia. After we lost the girls I had difficulty sleeping and would wake up before sunrise unable to fall back asleep. I would sit on our back patio and watch the world slowly come to life as the sun rose. I noticed quickly 2 very small hummingbirds that would visit our backyard every day. Something about their behavior was odd to me; it was almost as if they were putting on a show letting me know they were there. Everyday thereafter the birds visited without fail and I knew in my heart it was a message that Hazel and Olivia were always with us.
The bee represents our sweet miracle boy Hudson. After losing the twins James and I pursued treatment with a different RE. One that treats his patients holistically to optimize conventional medicine approaches. In a last ditch effort to increase a certain blood marker prior to undergoing IVF I was prescribed a bee sting. Yes you read that right! A dr prescribed bee sting! Unfortunately, or in hindsight, fortunately my blood work didn’t improve and we decided to take a break. I was pregnant with Hudson the following month.
And so Two Birds and a Bee perfectly represents the little miracles that have drastically changed our lives and taught us to live life to the absolute fullest.